If you've ever taken an attachment quiz online and sighed at the results, you're not alone. Many of us have had the experience of reading about anxious or avoidant attachment and thinking, “Yikes. That’s me.” It can feel like getting handed a relationship report card you never knew you signed up for.

“You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” It’s one of those phrases that gets thrown around so often, it almost feels like an absolute truth. The kind of advice that sounds wise, encouraging—even necessary. But here’s the problem: it’s not entirely true.

If you have an anxious attachment style, dating can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, you’re feeling hopeful and excited about a new connection, and the next, you’re overanalyzing a text message, wondering if you said something wrong. You might find yourself craving reassurance, worrying about how much someone likes you, or feeling intense emotional highs and lows depending on how a relationship is going.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve handled things on your own. You take care of yourself, your responsibilities, and maybe even the people around you. You don’t ask for help—not because you don’t need it, but because it doesn’t even feel like an option. Relying on others? That’s never really been part of the plan.

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, right? They help us protect our energy, communicate our needs, and build mutual respect. But what happens when the boundaries we set aren’t actually about protecting ourselves but about controlling others? It’s a tricky line to walk, but it’s an important one to explore.

Feeling lonely in your 30s? It’s more common than you might think. It can be tough when you’re supposed to be “adulting” and have everything figured out, yet social connections seem to get harder to maintain. Life gets busy, priorities shift, and suddenly, you’re left wondering where your friends went or why you can’t seem to make new ones. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are ways to build real connections, even in this busy phase of life.

Have you ever found yourself pulling away when a relationship gets too close or feeling uneasy with emotional intimacy? Maybe others have described you as “hard to get close to” or “distant.” If so, you might relate to avoidant attachment—a relational style rooted in self-protection and emotional distance.

Boundaries define what’s acceptable in relationships, protecting your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They help you maintain control over how others treat you and how much you give of yourself. Without clear boundaries, relationships can become overwhelming, leaving you feeling drained or resentful. Healthy boundaries foster respect and deeper connections.