One of the most bewildering experiences of healing from relational trauma is this: missing the very people who caused us pain.

You might find yourself replaying memories. Longing for connection. Wondering if things were really as bad as you once believed. You may even feel shame for the grief you carry—as if you're betraying your healing process by missing someone who harmed you.

If you've ever taken an attachment quiz online and sighed at the results, you're not alone. Many of us have had the experience of reading about anxious or avoidant attachment and thinking, “Yikes. That’s me.” It can feel like getting handed a relationship report card you never knew you signed up for.

So, you know something happened. You feel it in your body. It shows up in the way you flinch at certain tones of voice, in the way your stomach knots up when someone is even slightly disappointed in you, in the random waves of anxiety that hit you out of nowhere. But when you try to pinpoint the memory? Nothing. It’s like your brain just peaced out and left you with all the symptoms but none of the details.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed of your anxiety, self-doubt, or the way you shut down in stressful situations, I want you to take a deep breath for a moment. The things you struggle with now—the patterns you wish you could change—likely started as survival instincts. At some point in your life, they helped you get through something hard. And that means they make sense.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve handled things on your own. You take care of yourself, your responsibilities, and maybe even the people around you. You don’t ask for help—not because you don’t need it, but because it doesn’t even feel like an option. Relying on others? That’s never really been part of the plan.

If you’ve heard about EMDR therapy, you probably know it’s different from traditional talk therapy. Maybe you’ve seen people on social media share their experiences, or a therapist recommended it to help with trauma, anxiety, or even self-doubt that won’t seem to go away.

Trauma is often thought of as a single, life-altering event — an accident, a natural disaster, or an assault. But trauma isn’t always a single moment in time. Complex trauma is different. It doesn’t come from one isolated incident but rather from prolonged, repeated experiences of harm, neglect, or instability. It shapes how we see ourselves, others, and the world.

When people think of therapy, they often envision traditional talk therapy, where they discuss their thoughts and feelings with a therapist to work through challenges. While this approach can be incredibly effective, it’s not the only path to healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy offers a different, research-backed approach to addressing emotional pain, especially for those struggling with trauma, anxiety, and other distressing experiences.

Many of us carry the echoes of our past, often unaware of how deeply our childhood experiences shape our present lives. Inner child work in therapy invites us to reconnect with the younger parts of ourselves that still carry emotional wounds, unmet needs, and unexpressed feelings. But what does it really mean to meet your inner child? And how can this process bring healing and transformation?

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it can deeply impact the body as well. Whether it’s the result of a single overwhelming event or a series of prolonged experiences, trauma leaves its mark on the physical body in ways that many people may not realize. The mind-body connection means that emotional wounds from trauma can manifest as physical symptoms, creating a cycle of distress that can be difficult to break.

Trauma has a profound impact on the brain. It can leave individuals feeling stuck, emotionally overwhelmed, and disconnected from their sense of safety. However, a groundbreaking therapeutic approach known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is changing the way we understand trauma recovery. EMDR doesn’t just help individuals process difficult memories—it actually works to rewire the brain.